


cursed is he who fights the possibly immortal cat

by Magnolia35



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Crack, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, anakin is a fool, anakin wishes to fight Cat, cat will win, i really just wrote 1k words on this huh, it is called Cat, the 212th have a cat, the clone troopers may or may not have a habit of drugging obi-wan when he doesn’t get enough sleep, vader also wishes to fight cat, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:27:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24267418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnolia35/pseuds/Magnolia35
Summary: The 212th had a cat. As far as Anakin was concerned, it was ugly and mangy and horrible in every single way. And he swears he willeatit soon if it didn’t stop taking up his wife’s attention.or,Anakin-Vader vs Cat, match set, 0-1.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Original Character(s), Clone Troopers (Star Wars) & Other(s), Darth Vader & Original Character(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi & Original Character(s), Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 13
Kudos: 113





	cursed is he who fights the possibly immortal cat

The 212th had a cat.

It was a horrible, mangy old thing with black fur that stood up every which way.

They called it Cat. To be fair, they are clones. Most weren’t bred for ingenuity. 

The cat hated Anakin. It growled and hissed at him and Anakin was not above growling and hissing back. The cat, however, adored Ahsoka. It would strut up to her and do this weird purring thing where it drooled and rumbled. The cat seemed to love everyone but Anakin. Cat would lounge on Obi-Wan’s desks for hours as he did his paperwork. Cat would curl up with shinies who had just been through their first battle and would drool on brothers who had just lost a batchmate. Sith hells, Cat even put up with _Jar Jar_ , who was fascinated with the little monster. 

Anakin would’ve tried to eat it if the damn thing wasn’t near-immortal. Seriously.

The cat always survived.

The ship’s exploding? Don’t celebrate too soon, the cat stowed away in a life pod.

Stationed on a very hostile world and the base is blown up? Cat will show up a few days later, ugly as ever.

Otherwise impossibly deadly situation in which there’s literally no way the cat could survive? You’re woken up to Cat yowling for food.

Needless to say, it became a symbol of good luck for the 212th.

Padmé was adored by the cat and that was the one thing both Anakin and Cat could agree over. Frequently when Obi-Wan was back planetside Cat could be found snuggled in Padmé’s apartments having praise lavished over it. Anakin glared at it with barely-suppressed jealously and Padmé laughed. 

Obi-Wan was often found passed out with a purring cat in his arms and a mug of cooling tea that was totally not drugged by well-meaning clones who _hadn’t seen their General sleep in a week and a half, Sir that can’t possibly be good for your health-_ Cat was often placed in Obi-Wan’s arms to distract him and the clones silently cheered as their accomplice aided them in finally getting their General some sleep. Next they had to plan how to feed the man who was far too thin...

The Chancellor was disliked by Cat for some reason. Anytime he came near the cat it would arch it’s back and hiss at the man. The Chancellor seemed to take it in good humour, merely commenting on what a devoted companion it was and wiped off the spittle on his new robes. (Internally Sidious was seething. How dare this little beast sour his presence?) Anakin and the Chancellor shared an awkward laugh while Cat glared at the Chancellor. Cat was promptly removed and given many cuddles and kisses by the clones, who never looked at the Chancellor quite the same after that.

Oftentimes, Cat was seem wandering around the Jedi temple. Most of the Council didn’t mind it, Yoda had been reportedly seen having full on conversations with the thing and even Mace tolerated it’s presence. Sometimes Anakin worried they would end up giving it a council seat. They couldn’t, right? _Right?_

When Obi-Wan was assassinated by Hardeen, Anakin curled around Cat and sobbed. Cat, who would usually never have allowed this, simply rumbled in its weird way until Anakin fell into an uneasy sleep covered in snot and tears and cat drool. By morning, all that remained of Cat was an impression of a small body and a few hairs. Weeks later when the plot was uncovered, Anakin woke up to Cat standing on his chest, lantern-yellow eyes narrowed at him. Cat then hacked up a hairball on Anakin’s chest and they were back to being mortal enemies.

Twenty years later and Kenobi, the smuggler and the princess were accompanied by a blonde-haired boy and a Wookiee as they attempted to flee the Death Star. But more than just that. There was a small, black life form trotting along with them. And not just any life form.

Vader knew that cat.

Cat, somehow looking exactly as it did twenty years ago, glared at Vader as it twined itself around Kenobi’s legs. 

_Oh kriff no._

Two hours later, the Death Star was exploded and Vader was now in possession of one angry, possibly immortal, ugly cat. He glared at the cat. The cat glared back. The officers all glanced at each other nervously.

“Lord Vader-“ one began. He was cut off by an invisible fist clenching around his neck. The officer made a “glrrk” noise and sank to the floor, now dead. The rest of the officers eyeballed each other and agreed not to mention the cat to anyone. Especially not the Emperor. Or Vader.

It was best to just keep it among themselves.

And so, Cat became the infamous mascot of the 501st, Vader’s Fist. Where Vader went, the cat followed (though if one were to look closer, Cat would be gnawing on Vader’s suit if it felt he was about to do something especially stupid). When Obi-Wan heard the news of a Cat constantly being seen among the 501st, wild, possibly deranged laughter that may have been sobs was heard coming from his quarters. When Ahsoka heard the news, she needed a drink. And another. And a third one for good measure.

Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa, unaware of the cat’s symbolism, also found the idea of a cat surviving with Vader’s Fist mildly hilarious in a macabre, depressing sort of way. Han Solo cackled wildly and took them out for a drink. 

The Emperor eventually found out about the cat. He ordered Vader to execute the thing immediately. Cat was seen wandering around two days later, mostly watching over Vader’s bacta tank where he had been indisposed for that time due to his last meeting with the Emperor. The officers looked at Cat with a newfound respect. Cat was often seen being fed treats by officers or even stormtroopers. It was a surreal experience when rebels raided a base where Vader had been spotted and found Cat to be the only inhabitant save for a few dead officers and troopers. When Rex had seen the thing he’d cried. 

After that, Cat was frequently spotted among both Rebel and Imperial forces. This had only infuriated Sidious further. He demanded to see the cat executed. Two weeks later, father and son duelled the Sith Lord and Vader succumbed to death, pleading to his son to see him with his own eyes. Son cradled father in his arms and wept for the father he’d never had.

And as Anakin’s ashes rise up to the sky, a mangy old cat stands ever-vigilant over his pyre.


End file.
